Ian Connor Is a Rapist, and I Know Firsthand

It’s been a while since I’ve written on here. And I’ve wanted to for a while because I always have a lot of thoughts and I’m always being inspired by the people I surround myself with, but I just haven’t gotten to it because I’ve been busy with school, stressed with life and my relationships, family tings, etc. But today I decided to write something because I want the world to know the truth. On my first post, 4 months after my sexual assault, I wrote about how the assault affected me and how the backlash I got from telling someone I loved the truth about what happened affected me. All of this was well before I decided to involve the police in my assault. But I am finally ready to say that I did. I pursued charges against Ian Connor for raping me. Yes, that’s right folks, Ian Connor–the fashion nigga people love to stan for–is a rapist. My detective never said I couldn’t talk about my case, but I decided not to because I wanted to get everything taken care of before I spoke about it publicly.

I am speaking now because my case is basically closed. And I am finally ready to share my entire story. I want the world to know who they are praising. I know that I will get some backlash for this, the typical rape apologists and misogynists will likely attack as they will be up in ashy arms that their idol is being accused of such a heinous crime. But I don’t care. I know the truth. And I know that I did not want to have sex with Ian Connor. He raped me.

On October 5th 2014, I was raped by Ian Connor. Everyone always wants a name and a face and oh who did he rape and blah blah, well here I am. *One* of the many that he raped was me. Oh yeah that’s right, he’s a serial rapist. I am not the only one. I’m just one of the only one’s who is telling my story. In short, he is a predator. He seeks out girls on social media that he can try to “woo” or whatever and then try to fuck and if they say no, well he takes it. One day in spring January of 2014, I tweeted “who is Ian Connor?” because I kept seeing his name everywhere but I literally had no clue who the kid was. Now we all know he searches his name, like any egomaniac would, so naturally he replied. A few months later he followed me and I followed back, still not knowing much about him. The fact that he followed me after a few months should’ve let me know he was weird because apparently he had been watching me for all that time I assume. I don’t know. But to continue, after I followed him back, he dm’d me. We talked for a little he asked for my number and I was like yeah sure whatever. I was just curious because his name was everywhere so I was like okay let’s see what this nigga is about. Before I go any further, I just want to clarify that when I say this was out of pure curiosity, I actually mean that. I don’t care about “clout” never have never will. If I wanted his “money” or whatever I would say that because regardless of my intentions, raping someone is never acceptable. But I do want my story to be told and interpreted correctly. Moreover, Ian tried to post me on his Instagram the second time we hung out because he liked my necklace (the Arabic name necklace that I wear everyday) but I was like “nah” because I just didn’t want that. Not that it matters. But I know how some of y’all think.

We hung out a total of 3 times. Never did anything sexual with this man because I didn’t find him attractive, I was very much into somebody else, and I just wanted to be friends. He kissed me before but I always pushed him off because gross. He would stop after that and we would kick it, it would be fine and I wouldn’t feel violated. I thought he was somewhat cool, so when I wasn’t dodging him, if he hit me up because he was in Atlanta and I wasn’t busy I would be like okay cool we can hang out.

The 3rd and last time we hung out I hit him up. He came to my crib in the morning and I figured we would just talk and chill per usual… But that isn’t what happened. We were sitting on my bed, just talking. and he asked if he could eat me out. I declined. And I told him I wasn’t trying to have sex. So he’s like okay. Then he asked again if he could eat me out. I said no again and he just kept asking. He was literally begging to eat me out and he said “we don’t gotta fuck, I just wanna eat it. I wanna eat your soul out girl” blah blah. And I was just like “nah I’m good” but he kept begging. Eventually, I gave in. I said “fine you can give me head”. Then he said “lemme eat it from the back”. So I laid on my stomach and pulled my pants down about halfway, the rest of my clothes were still on. He was fully clothed. He started to give me head. About 2 minutes later I felt his bare penis thrust inside of me *and he began to have sex with me*. I was shocked and didn’t know what to do and then I pushed him off of me and I was like wtf. And he says “your pussy is wavy. We should’ve did this a long time ago. We could’ve been dating” and I said “wtf I told you I didn’t want to have sex and you just did it…” And he says “so you tryna say I raped you” and at the time I hadn’t even processed what had just happened and I was like “I don’t know”. After that he left and said he was gonna text me. I was confused. I didn’t want to call it rape but I also couldn’t call it consensual sex because I had already told him I didn’t want to have sex with him and he took advantage of me being in a position in which he could penetrate me anyway when I wasn’t looking. It was diabolical. But at the time, I didn’t know how to think of it.

I went to get tested the next day because nothing felt right about what happened. I was confused and in denial. On October 9th, I got my test results back and I found out he had given me gonorrhea. Curable. But still. I was devastated and that’s when it all finally hit me. I didn’t want any of what had happened but he just did it anyway and I had to deal with the consequences. He didn’t penetrate me with consent. He raped me. Once I accepted it, I told the man I was “talking to” at the time what had happened. We were pretty serious so I thought I could trust him and I was also going through a lot and I just needed support. But instead of being there for me, he blamed me for it and told me it “wasn’t a real rape” because I didn’t get snatched up off the street and I knew the person. Needless to say, the way he treated me and the things he said to me which are still very triggering to think about only made matters worse. I was depressed and I wanted to hurt myself but I didn’t because I had people watching me, friends coming to Atlanta to be with me, I left school to be with my mom, it was a lot going on actually. And for the most part, I kept it to myself except for telling close friends, my mom, and my therapist. After a little over a year, I finally tweeted about him being a rapist (not about him raping me specifically but I called him a rapist) because I’ve gotten more comfortable talking about it as time has passed and because I want everyone to know the truth. That same day he messaged me on a fake account… Trying to harass me. Here are the messages:

If you go to that page and look at the likes its all things praising Ian. I wasn’t for sure it was him but I had a feeling it was. My intuition is always on fleek. And I was right.

His harassing messages prompted me to file a police report. I thought to myself “fuck him”, I wasn’t about to allow him to take anything else from me or hurt me anymore! I have so many things happening in my life and so much going for myself right now and nobody is getting in the way of that. I’m about to graduate from Emory University in exactly one month and I did it in four years. I have life plans and I am ready to spread my wings and fly. But before that, I felt like I needed to, at least, try to make him be held accountable for his actions so that I could have peace. So in December 2015, I filed the report. Since then I’ve given statements, sent in evidence, and gotten other women that he assaulted to speak to my detective. The detectives at the Special Victims Unit at my country police station have been working to gather as much evidence as possible and build a case. The problem is, when it comes to bringing everything to the judge, there isn’t a lot of concrete evidence that actually proves the rape happened. Essentially, the only thing they can really go on is my word. Moreover, the other women who spoke to the detective are not comfortable filing their own reports. They gave statements and I am thankful for that as it did contribute to the building of my case, but the statements can not be taken as concrete evidence unless they were to file their own reports in the cities in which their assaults occurred. Although if they did, it would make the case and a warrant for his arrest would likely be put out once everything was presented to the judge, it’s understandable why they wouldn’t want to. Further, my detective also got in contact with Ian. He called him. I had two of his numbers that were still saved in the cloud in my phone despite me deleting them and still having his numbers blocked to this day. So I gave the detective both of them. One didn’t work and one did. My detective said Ian sounded0 very worried. And since he’s guilty, he should be worried. Because people are onto him now. And in other guilty news, since then he disconnected the number–my detective informed me of that because he tried to call Ian again to get him to come in for questioning. When they first asked him to come in for questioning he said he “didn’t know when he would be back in Atlanta”, then he disconnected the number. And since there’s no warrant because I do not have enough concrete evidence on my own to present before the judge, they can’t make him. Unfortunately, my statement, a few screenshots, and some information from my doctor and from my school, won’t be regarded as substantial evidence in a court of law. Because of this, my detective told me yesterday that the case is likely to be closed for the time being. It can be reopened if more evidence is found or if any other women decide to come forward, but for right now, there isn’t much else that can be done.  So basically these past few months have somewhat been a waste of my time bc even though I was raped, nothing will likely happen to the person who raped me aka Ian Connor. #America

Although this is not the ideal result of my choice to file a report against him, I do not regret my choice. The system isn’t built for me and that’s something I wholeheartedly understand about America; however, I also believe that you never know what the outcome of anything will be unless you try. By not trying, I would be giving him power and that is something I refuse to do. And by trying, I empowered myself and others. I did what I could to try to bring justice and hopefully protect other people and for that I will never regret my decision. No longer will Ian Connor’s crimes remain invisible. I am here. I am visible. And I am healing.

I expect to receive some backlash for writing this, for exposing Ian, for the way it happened. I expect some people to blame me for it, and to continue to not hold a grown man accountable for his actions. But at the end of the day, nobody’s ignorance can stop me from standing in my truth.

Thank you all for reading this. And thank you to everyone that has supported me and contributed to my healing.

xo,

Malika

 

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51 comments

  1. Ted Kamal · April 8

    FUCK IAN CONNOR

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Camille · April 8

    I am so proud of you and I stand by you for your courage!

    Like

  3. Stacey · April 8

    What is wrong with people? I hope you’re ok

    Like

  4. Lauren · April 8

    Thank you so much for being brave enough to share this. I only wish I had found the courage to do the same. But, this has given me a sense of comfort and empowered me. Thank you for sharing

    Like

  5. saddestangel · April 8

    Reblogged this on BAES OF THE INTERNET .

    Like

  6. alex · April 8

    so proud of you!! always speak up

    Like

  7. Cynthia · April 8

    Knowing Ian Connor, I completely believe this 100%. It wasn’t your fault. This dude is beyond sick & you can tell by his tweets very egotistic. I really hope more people come forward if they’ve been through this with him or anybody else. It’s time people stop idolizing sick f*cks because of people they know. Thank you for sharing your story with us & I hope you continue to do so.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Harry Lopez · April 8

    I wish you a well recovery. You’ve help lift the fear of the those who are scared to share their stories & speak out. No one should live in fear or feel they are at fault for being a victim of rape. God bless -Harry

    Like

  9. LaLa · April 8

    If only he knew boundaries, and didn’t show up at your house man.. He knew what he was doing. Smfh

    Like

  10. Sydney · April 8

    you are so brave… just shared your story on twitter so more people could become aware of how horrible he and this group of people are. you are amazing!!

    Like

  11. Mutla · April 8

    So sorry you had to go through that.

    Like

  12. Joseph Fleming · April 8

    Yo email me about setting up a petition to have a criminal investigation started on Ian Connor. I work as a political activist in Los Angeles and can reach out with as many resources as possible.

    Like

  13. Deja · April 8

    I am so sorry this happen

    Like

  14. Adrienne Sharee · April 8

    Malika, I am so proud of you for having the courage to share your story. There’s this thing called rape culture and until that is changed in the mind of both men and women, you and I are stuck with a system that points blame at the victim simply because it’s my word against there’s. I am a 15 year survivor and I understand how you feel. I am now a volunteer rape advocate and I lead a support group for other survivors. Although our stories are different, many parts of our journey to healing are the same. I pray that God continues to give you the strength and courage you need to heal. You are not alone and there are people that will support you.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Briana · April 8

    I believe you!! When your consent is taken you will never be the same. I’ll pray for you. Your own peace is most important now.

    Like

  16. Nuura · April 8

    stay strong boo. you got this. xoxo.

    Like

  17. Blow Pop · April 8

    FWIW, Even though I don’t know you or him, I believe you.

    Like

  18. Marisa · April 9

    Fuck him. Piece of shyt. He will get what’s coming to him. Thank u for sharing.

    Like

  19. God Bless you. Karma is going to pay him a visit. Best revenge is to try to live the best life possible. Time, prayer/meditation, and therapy, should help heal most of your wounds. The rest is up to you. Thank you for speaking up. #RapeSurvivor

    Like

  20. Bri · April 9

    I am so sorry this happened to you and I hope that in the future other victims will speak up. I wish you the best. You are so strong and inspiring.

    Like

  21. Asia · April 9

    So sorry Malika.. You’re very brave. This has happened to me before but I wasn’t as courageous as you. Thought it was my fault, I wish you many blessings and peace. No means no!! It will come to the light

    Like

  22. Amira · April 9

    I started crying when I read this. Your story sounds so similar to mines. I was also raped by someone I knew, who I trusted. It’s almost uncanny how similar the circumstances are. You’re way stronger than me cause I didn’t go to the police. I didn’t think they would believe me. I wish you luck though. Stay blessed.

    Like

  23. JC · April 9

    Bless you. I never reposted my rape because, who would have believed me? I understand how it can affect you and I’ve been blamed by people I love for not reporting. I finally told my mom and found out something eerily similar happened to her. Thank you, for speaking out.

    Like

  24. Shanae · April 9

    I commend you for being strong and opening up.

    Like

  25. Mamie Koroma · April 9

    You are very beautiful and strong for standing up to a pathetic monster. I support you

    Like

  26. kas · April 9

    I’m so sorry this happened to you babe 💜 I’m so glad you shared your story so that others can realize what a fucker he is!!!

    Like

  27. Jade B. · April 9

    Thank you for being so strong. I understand how hard it must be to be in your position but you are not alone. I hope you continue to Heal and grow because of this. You’re making such an impact on girls who are afraid to speak up..you are their voice! I wish you good healing, peace and prosperity. Good luck/ Congrats with graduation! 💘☺️

    Like

  28. Emily · April 9

    You are so brave for sharing this and I applaud you for all your efforts in trying to bring justice to your situation. I have never been a victim of sexual assault but it is something I fear greatly and have a hard time even imagining it happening to myself. Although justice has not been served, karma will do her job and Ian connor will have whatever is coming for him. Best of luck with everything ❤️

    Like

  29. Megan · April 9

    Your bravery in speaking up against that horrible man is awe inspiring and moving, my thoughts and prayers are with you. It takes real courage to stand up and speak out, you are amazing. Best of luck to you with the case

    Like

  30. Scott · April 9

    Good for you for reporting it and posting this and doing whatever you need to do to heal. Blessed be.

    Like

  31. NJ SIMMONS · April 9

    You did the right thing, rapist should NOT be tolerated regardless of statue, wealth or celebrity. The strength you’ve displayed will help others simply by knowing that they are not alone. You will prevail because truth ALWAYS comes to light. KARMA IS REAL.

    Like

  32. Anon · April 9

    Thanks for speaking up, no matter what anybody says you did the right thing I wish I was just as brave As you are. There’s loads of men and women supporting you on this so don’t pay no mind to these heartless bastards. Reading this brought back memories and made me cry a lil. It took me 3 years to confide in someone because I never accepted it and I made myself think it was my fault , I was in a dark hole for a long time but I’ve learnt that’s not the case. I wish you all the best with your future!

    Like

  33. feministcorna · April 9

    Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m so sorry for what happened to you – what he did to you, and you deserve to be visible. You deserve to have your voice be heard. One of my favorite Maya Angelou quotes is “Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.” So I’m glad you found the courage to write and share this.

    Like

  34. lylens lubin · April 9

    damn

    Like

  35. Brian · April 9

    I’m so sorry this happened to you. I believe you’re story, and hope you find peace and justice in whichever way you can. Thank you for your bravery and courage

    Like

  36. Poppy · April 9

    You’re very strong for speaking out about this, I really hope you get the justice you and all the other victims deserve

    Like

  37. Temi · April 9

    I hate that this happened to you and other women, i’m in awe of your bravery, because people won’t identify your experience as rape just because it didn’t happen in an alley in the dark of night as you mentioned yourself. But any sexual act done without consent is rape, people need to get that in their heads. I hope you’re doing better, you deserve better.

    Like

  38. Sarah Connolly · April 9

    Thank you for coming forward!!! You are doing so much good for others that have been raped. I stand with you 100%.
    Good luck & I hope you eventually get justice ❤ ❤ ❤

    Like

  39. Yedi Fer · April 10

    you are so brave ❤

    Like

  40. Ashley · April 10

    I’m really sorry this happened. When something like this happens there really are no words but you’re very strong and you don’t have to be. That’s amazing. You’re amazing. I’ll pray for you

    Like

  41. All ofus · April 10

    I’m so sorry.
    It can be said that what you’ve experienced is acquaintance rape- when you know the attacker
    there’s a ugly narrative that the majority of rape is stranger rape, where a stranger jumps out the bushes in the middle of the night; this isn’t true, this aquaintance type is actually the most common.
    The side effects of this narrative can be seen with that guy you spoke too- so consumed by the narrative is led to believe what you experienced wasn’t even rape. ugh
    >If you want to read more about this read Peggy Sanday’s “A Woman Scorned”, more specifically the 9th chapter.

    love,

    Like

  42. Nyghtlie · April 10

    You are brave and you are strong. Do not let anyone tell you different. I have gone through a situation and I made the decision not to report because I felt embarrassed overall.

    Like

  43. Anonymous · April 10

    Hi Malika thank you for this . I am a aspiring model and I went the Yeezy casting and Ian’s friend came up to me and was like Ian Connor wants your IG page I said what OMG . So I put it in his phone and a few hours later Ian hits me up in my DM …. Long story short he invited me to his hotel and told me I made the show . But I never went to meet him . Thank god I didn’t go. Please keep fighting ! So this doesn’t happen to other girls

    Like

  44. S.O. · April 10

    Thank you for sharing your story. I’m disgusted by Connors behaviour and those by other perpetrators within Hollywood. I want to comment here to say, your story was listened to.

    Like

  45. kyla · April 10

    Your story was saddening, but I’m SO proud you were willing to share this tragedy. Justice will come and fuck everyone who doesn’t believe you!

    Like

  46. Nadyah · April 10

    Hi malika
    I just wanted to stop by and say to you ..
    You are a strong woman.
    And I respect you for coming forward.
    It’s not easy ,
    stay strong. Malika

    Like

  47. Ebonie · April 10

    I need to talk to you!! I have a VERY similar story. It happened to me when i was 14 im 17 now and still healing. Can we communicate?ebonielockley@gmail.com please contact me or something.💖 stay strong. Thank you for telling your story. There are girls out there like me who needed to hear this because im sure im not the only one who can relate.

    Like

  48. scubaandthesea · April 10

    Thank you for sharing your story! Your experience will help so many other women and men realize what rape is and come forward to seek justice for the evil that has been done to them. You are being so strong, and many are now looking up to you. But you also don’t have to be strong – there is a community that is here for you in Atlanta and worldwide through social media that have your back if you need a break or need time away from things to heal. Whatever you need, other people are here for you – to back you up, to validate your experience, to fight for justice and to help you as you need. Thanks for being a light in the darkness. Other victims of assault are deeply grateful.

    Like

  49. Laye · April 11

    You are so strong, I can’t even fathom what you are and still go through because of this incident. I’m so happy you wrote this and tried to press charges. I also stand with you.

    Like

  50. Supporter · April 11

    It’s wrong that uninvolved people wrote “Innocent,” on his Instagram. It’s wrong that he has the nerve to threaten you by calling you a ***** on his Twitter. The good people are with you.

    Like

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